12 Expectations That Are Holding You Back From Happiness

In our fast-paced world, we often rely on others to fulfill our needs and desires. We expect constant validation, unwavering support, and perhaps even mind-reading. But the truth is, placing these expectations on others can lead to disappointment, resentment, and a feeling of being constantly let down.

The key to a happier, more fulfilling life lies in letting go of these unrealistic expectations. By taking ownership of your own happiness and well-being, you empower yourself to create the life you truly desire. Here are 12 things you should stop expecting from others, and how to find them within yourself:

1. Mind Reading

Expectation: You expect others to automatically understand your needs, wants, and feelings without you having to communicate them.

Why it Doesn’t Work: People are not mind readers. They can only perceive the world through their own experiences and perspectives.

Find it Within: Learn to communicate clearly and openly. Express your needs and feelings directly, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

2. Constant Approval

Expectation: You crave the validation of others for your decisions, actions, and even your worth as a person.

Why it Doesn’t Work: The need for constant approval is a recipe for insecurity. Everyone has different opinions, and seeking validation from everyone is a never-ending pursuit.

Find it Within: Develop your own sense of self-worth. Focus on your values and goals, and trust your own judgment. Celebrate your achievements and learn from your mistakes.

3. Unwavering Support

Expectation: You believe everyone in your life should always be your biggest cheerleader, ready to support you no matter what.

Why it Doesn’t Work: People have their own lives, priorities, and limitations. There will be times when they can’t offer the level of support you desire.

Find it Within: Build a strong support system with diverse people who can offer different types of support. Learn to be self-sufficient and resourceful. Celebrate the successes of others, and be there for them when they need you.

4. Happiness Delivery

Expectation: You believe others are responsible for making you happy.

Why it Doesn’t Work: Happiness is an inside job. It’s a choice you make every day, regardless of external circumstances.

Find it Within: Identify what brings you joy and fulfillment. Pursue your passions, cultivate gratitude, and practice self-care. Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you.

5. Perfection

Expectation: You expect others (and yourself) to be flawless, leading to constant judgment and criticism.

Why it Doesn’t Work: Everyone makes mistakes. Striving for perfection is an unrealistic and exhausting goal that sets you up for disappointment.

Find it Within: Embrace imperfection. Learn from your mistakes and see them as opportunities for growth. Practice self-compassion and extend the same understanding to others.

6. Unconditional Forgiveness

Expectation: You believe others should forgive you readily, regardless of the severity of the transgression.

Why it Doesn’t Work: Forgiveness is a personal journey. It takes time and effort, and some things may be harder to forgive than others.

Find it Within: Practice forgiveness for yourself first. Let go of resentment and anger that hold you back. Be willing to apologize sincerely and take responsibility for your actions.

7. Always Being Right

Expectation: You need to be right in every situation and expect others to agree with you.

Why it Doesn’t Work: There are often multiple perspectives on any given situation. Being overly attached to being right hinders communication and growth.

Find it Within: Be open to different viewpoints. Learn to listen actively and see things from another person’s perspective. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong and adjust your stance.

8. Always Knowing the Answer

Expectation: You believe you should always have the solution to every problem.

Why it Doesn’t Work: It’s okay not to have all the answers. Sometimes, the best approach is to be open to new ideas and learn from others.

Find it Within: Develop your problem-solving skills. Seek advice from trusted sources and be open to different solutions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.

9. Dropping Everything to Help

Expectation: You expect others to readily drop everything to help you at a moment’s notice, regardless of their own priorities.

Why it Doesn’t Work: Everyone has a busy life with their own commitments. It’s not always reasonable to expect them to put your needs before theirs all the time.

Find it Within: Learn to be resourceful and independent. Develop a strong support system with people who can offer different types of help. Be willing to return the favor when others need you.

10. Always Making You Feel Good

Expectation: You expect others to constantly entertain you, cheer you up, and make you feel good about yourself.

Why it Doesn’t Work: People can’t control your emotions. They can offer support and encouragement, but ultimately, you are responsible for your own emotional well-being.

Find it Within: Develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with negative emotions. Practice self-care activities that bring you peace and joy. Surround yourself with positive influences, but don’t rely solely on others for happiness.

11. Always Taking the Blame

Expectation: You readily accept blame for everything that goes wrong, even if it’s not entirely your fault.

Why it Doesn’t Work: Taking responsibility for your actions is important, but so is setting boundaries. Owning your mistakes is healthy, but don’t take the fall for things you didn’t do.

Find it Within: Learn to differentiate between healthy responsibility and self-blame. Communicate openly and honestly about situations, and hold others accountable for their actions.

12. Completing You

Expectation: You believe another person is the missing piece to your happiness.

Why it Doesn’t Work: A healthy relationship should enhance your life, not define it. You should be a complete and happy person on your own before entering a relationship.

Find it Within: Focus on self-love and self-acceptance. Build a fulfilling life for yourself with your own passions, goals, and interests. A relationship should add to your happiness, not be the sole source of it.

By letting go of these unrealistic expectations and cultivating these qualities within yourself, you’ll be well on your way to a happier, more fulfilling life. Remember, happiness is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the process, learn from your experiences, and enjoy the beautiful unfolding of your life.