Walking on Eggshells: 15 Signs You’re in a Tense Relationship

Have you ever felt like you need to constantly tread carefully around someone? Like one wrong word or action could set them off? If so, you might be walking on eggshells. This idiom perfectly captures the feeling of being hyper-vigilant and cautious in your interactions with another person.

This article will explore what walking on eggshells means, the signs you might be experiencing it, and what you can do to address the situation.

What Does Walking on Eggshells Mean?

Just like a literal eggshell is fragile and easily broken, walking on eggshells metaphorically describes a situation where you need to be extremely careful with your words and actions to avoid upsetting someone. This person might be easily angered, overly critical, or have unpredictable moods.

Walking on eggshells can be emotionally draining. It can make you feel constantly on edge, unable to relax and be yourself. It can also stifle open communication and create a tense atmosphere in the relationship.

According to licensed psychologist Silvana Mici:

“Walking on eggshells in a relationship can be emotionally exhausting and detrimental to one’s well-being.”

15 Signs You’re Walking on Eggshells

Here are some signs that you might be walking on eggshells in a relationship:

1. You constantly censor yourself: You hesitate to express your true feelings or opinions for fear of how the other person will react.
2. You second-guess your actions: You spend a lot of time worrying about whether something you did or said will upset the other person.
3. You feel like you’re always walking on thin ice: You have a sense of unease and worry around the person, never knowing how they’ll respond.
4. You avoid certain topics: There are certain subjects you simply avoid discussing because you know they’ll lead to an argument.
5. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around their moods: Their mood swings are unpredictable, and you adjust your behavior based on their current state.
6. You take responsibility for their emotions: You feel like it’s your fault if they get upset, even if you haven’t done anything wrong.
7. You apologize excessively: You find yourself apologizing for things you haven’t even done, just to keep the peace.
8. You feel like you can’t be yourself: You feel like you have to put on a facade to avoid upsetting the other person.
9. You feel drained and exhausted: The constant emotional strain of walking on eggshells takes a toll on your energy levels.
10. You feel isolated from friends and family: You withdraw from loved ones because you don’t want to burden them with your problems.
11. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells at work: This dynamic can also occur in professional settings with a difficult boss or colleague.
12. You have trouble making decisions: You’re afraid to make decisions for fear of making the wrong choice and upsetting someone.
13. You have low self-esteem: The constant criticism or unpredictable behavior can chip away at your sense of self-worth.
14. You experience anxiety or depression: The stress of walking on eggshells can lead to mental health problems.
15. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells in all your relationships: This could be a sign of a deeper issue with codependency or people-pleasing tendencies.

What to Do If You’re Walking on Eggshells

If you recognize these signs in your own relationship, it’s important to take action. Here are some steps you can take:

• Identify the problem: The first step is to acknowledge that walking on eggshells is not a healthy way to live.
• Communicate with the other person: Try to have a calm and honest conversation about how their behavior is affecting you.
• Focus on “I” statements: Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs, such as “I feel anxious when you raise your voice.”
• Set boundaries: It’s okay to set boundaries with the other person, even if they don’t like it.
• Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to communicate or the situation feels unsafe, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.
• Prioritize your own well-being: Make sure you’re taking care of yourself emotionally and physically.
• Consider if the relationship is healthy: If the other person is unwilling to change or the situation is abusive, you may need to consider ending the relationship.

Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you feel safe and respected. Don’t be afraid to take steps to improve your situation.

Don’t Shoulder the Blame Alone

i. It’s Not Always Your Fault

While open communication and self-reflection are crucial, it’s important to remember that the responsibility for a healthy relationship dynamic lies with both partners. Don’t take on the sole burden if the other person’s behavior is causing you to walk on eggshells.

ii. Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control someone else’s behavior, but you can control your own. Focus on setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and communicating your needs effectively.

iii. Know When to Walk Away

If the other person is unwilling to change or the situation is abusive, leaving the relationship might be the healthiest option. Prioritize your own well-being and safety.

Types of Relationships Where Walking on Eggshells Can Occur

This dynamic can occur in various relationships, not just romantic ones. Here are some examples:

• Parent-Child: A child might walk on eggshells around a critical or unpredictable parent.
• Friendships: Friendships can become imbalanced if one person is overly critical or demanding.
• Workplace: Employees might feel like they have to walk on eggshells around a difficult boss or colleague.

The Importance of Self-Care

Walking on eggshells can be emotionally draining. Here are some self-care tips to help you cope:

• Practice relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can all help to reduce stress and anxiety.
• Spend time with supportive loved ones: Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.
• Engage in activities you enjoy: Make time for hobbies and activities that bring you joy.
• Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to cope on your own, a therapist can provide support and guidance.

Conclusion

Walking on eggshells is a sign of an unhealthy dynamic in a relationship. By recognizing the signs, taking action to address the situation, and prioritizing your own well-being, you can break free from this emotional strain and build healthier relationships. Remember, you deserve to feel safe, respected, and heard.